Tuesday....lots of pain in the morning...walking around like a hunched over old hag.....had trouble reaching to put laundry away....not good. Cried out frustration. Rested a lot on the sofa...listened to book on iPod....looked at magazines....read snail mail...clipped my fingernails.....nothing much. No energy. I felt better after a hot shower and stretched my body and breathed deeply. I want to learn more about Chai Quon (or something like that). A friend has told me there is a woman in Helsingborg who specializes in a form of Thai Chi for cancer patients. Waiting for her to get back to me.....always waiting....it seems.
Finally talked to my nurse. Both she and my doctor had called me yesterday but only on my mobile phone...which I only use when I'm out and about.(otherwise it's turned off) Neither one tried our house phone although they both had the number. Growl! I will tell them tomorrow that I prefer the house phone but from now on I will have the cell phone handy by.
Summary of Nurse phone talk:
- no appointment time set for my liver biospy - will get back to me about it tomorrow
- no appointment time set for my MRI (see above)
- no appointment time set for dietician meeting (see above)
- result from one blood test concerning my nightly fevers...yes, my blood number for infection is high, perhaps it is a virus- Doctor will talk to me about it tomorrow.
- nurse suggested that I get in touch with Kamrater (don't know if I have the spelling right) for support & suggestions about how to tell my daughter! WHAT? Like I've known this for 3 weeks now....Been there, Done that! Got many books already on the subject, thank you very much. (do I sound bitter yet?! I felt like screaming to her...YOU PEOPLE ARE SO BLOODY SLOW THIS IS MY LIFE WE ARE DEALING WITH!!!!) Breathe deeply. ouch. that hurts. Breathe swallow.
- I got a little upset about the MRI appointment delay (see yesterday's post) and told her that in Landskrona there is a machine that hardly gets used and if I could I please transfer down there for that procedure so that it gets DONE faster....she got a little flustered and told me that Helsingborg Hospital doesn't usually use Landskrona's equipment but if I was willing to go to ängleholm there could be a possiblity that I could get an appointment sooner than in Helsingborg (since they only have one working machine but they are working longer days and on weekends to meet the 2 week waiting period limit). She asked if I would need a tranquilizer for the MRI, because if so than I can only go to Helsingborg but I told her I can stand the small enclosure for the test...I just want to GET IT DONE! As long as it is not physically painful, I can handle the claustrophobia bit. So now I'm on the list for both places. Yeah!
- she reminded me to try to eat normal but small portioned balanced meals during the day...I could have some sweets, chocolate, a little wine....I stopped her and said but I'm on Dexofem painkillers the first doctor told me to ABSOLUTELY NOT drink alcohol. She replied flustered again...oh, that's right! no alcohol. I'm beginning to wonder who is in charge here! Well, it's ME, of course, but SHE is the medically trained person! Breathe, Carol, don't freak out.
- she will get the doctor to fill out the necessary forms for the Insurance to pay me my wages now that I'm on official sick leave. (first 2 weeks are paid by the employer in Sweden)
- end of conversation....she will call me again tomorrow--HOPEFULLY with some REAL INFORMATION!!
You should see the box of luscious truffles I got from my dear friend from San Franscisco, Janis and her partner, Maria! THANK YOU!!!! Loved the letter you wrote and thanks for the Allende speech! I told Bo we could SHARE the truffles. Is that fair enough?
Had a maravillosa telephone call from my best Peruvian friend in Switzerland! Giannina ALWAYS makes me laugh...sometimes to tears! Te quiero, mi amiga fame!perfectismisaoptimistmaestupenda, y tu familia tambien! ;-)
Tomorrow is MAYA's 7th Birthday! She was so excited she couldn't sleep in her own bed...so she cuddled with me awhile in my bed before going to sleep. I asked her if she had any worries for the little box I keep in my pillow case but she replied "no worries tonight Mom, just excitement!" We will all go in to wake her up in the morning singing....but we'll open presents in the afternoon after school by the fireplace as is our custom. She'll go to school dressed as a Påskkyckling (Easter chick) tomorrow (an outfit she directed me to make last year). They will have an Easter Crafts Day with their mentors in the 2nd grade class. Should be fun for her!
During Maya's bath we had this conversation with the dinosaurs. (Maya is asking me to play with her so much more right now...I'm doing it, she needs it, feels good.)
Maya: You be the Mommy and Pappa Triceratops, I'll be the kid one.
Mommy: What will they be doing?
Maya: The Pappa one just wants to do the fun stuff like tickle the kid and be silly and the Mommy one wants the kid to do all the important stuff.
Mommy: What's the important stuff?
Maya: Like you do with me; brush teeth, comb hair, pick up room, go to bed, you know.
Mommy: Can't the mommy be silly too and do fun stuff?
Maya: Yeah, but the important stuff is IMPORTANT!
Mommy: Smile! :-) (at least she knows it's really important and not just nagging!)
Tonight we watched About a Boy with Hugh Grant (always easy on the eyes!) ....but damn it if it didn't have a suicidial mother in the story! I didn't cry though...knew the outcome would be good!
Hoping all is well at school....no one has called me or emailed, so I guess it's OK.
Have to admit I don't think about my work so much but I do think about all the kids and the teachers! I miss you all!
That's all for now...time for bed!
Tomorrow I will be reporting more concrete news! Yes!
AIR MAIL Pocket Letter
2 hours ago