Friday, March 13, 2009

It seems unreal to me

I really don't know how to start this post....I'll just dive in....
my life has taken a dramatic change in the last 48 hours. I"ve been in the hospital for 3 days/2 nights after having been suffering of extreme tiredness, adominal pains, severe constipation and what I thought was an over grown hemorroid. Turns out I have rectal cancer with some spreading into my liver. Yeah! the wait has begun about the treatment. All related paperwork, CT scans and blood tests have been given to the oncologist and I should be hearing from her anytime early next week. Wait. It's hard. But I (we) take it one day at a time. That's all I can do for now until we know more.
Good red blood cell count, although low, is still within the normal range.
I feel strong and a few kilos lighter, which is, of course, a good thing, got lots to spare!

My parents will be coming from Florida next week to support us anyway they can. My dear brother has moved into their house to take care of things there while they are gone. I'm on sick leave until further notice, thankfully my colleagues are right there to take over.

From this recent experience I've learned that I should always keep a "crafty" bag ready to take with me for the long waits at the hospital and an iPod full of books on tape and cool tunes. Unfortunately, I couldn't concentrate on reading...don't know if this is related to the illness but I haven't been able to finish a book in several months. (I was even contemplating quitting my beloved Bookworms group, but I won't, I love those worms too much and miss them!) An embrodiery project will be a creative release during my next adventures in the hospital....wished I had had something with me during the hospital stay. My roomate there was a wonderful woman, 89 years old. She was a knitter! Sharing each other's stories about life, crafts, travels and family really made the time pass faster! And I got to practice my Swedish until late at night with some tears but mostly laughter with her!

I received a few great things before going away that I didn't have a chance to...
Thank you
to Karen in Australia for the fat quarter & Billibong fabric! and Valerie, Vicki and Holly for the post cards...I will post photos later when I have more energy. Also, thanks to Mary Beth for the Girl Scout cookies! (geez...I'll think twice before ordering again...the postage was incredible, eh?)

To all my blogger friends, I'm sorry, but I just haven't had the energy to "visit" all of you these last couple of weeks...and if I did visit, I didn't leave a message, it just seemed too overwhelming to go through the process of leaving a comment...that's how tired I've been!

Listen to your speaks!
Honor what it tells you!


Lori S-C said...

Oh no.
oh no. I've been checking your blog daily, and certainly didn't anticipate this post. I will email you now to check in more personally.

You know how much I love you, right?


Sara said...

I am so shocked and sorry for you! This had to be a hard blow for you. I know you are strong and will survive this! I will be praying for you and your family! Keep up your strength and have faith!

Natalie Harris said...

carol...this has taken me straight to my knees. I actually had to sit and try to breathe for a bit, and quickly taken to how YOU must be doing?feeling????....LISTEN WOMAN!!!! You are SO LOVED...I mean LOVED!!!! Look at all the good you have brought to ALL of us by reconnecting us in this last little bit!!! And that's just a TINY thing in comparison to all the other GOOD you have given the world. We...I mean ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS...are going to gather up ALL OF YOUR GOODNESS, combine it with AlL OF OUR GOODNESS...and focus that PURE LOVE energy on your body, and your family. I LOVE YOU. I am starting a HEAL CAROL Movement THIS MOMENT...I wish you weren't so many hours ahead..I will call as soon as I can...tell your mom I will help with WHATEVER I CAN!!! Again, I LOVE YOU!!! May you be encircled in peace and open to the lessons ahead and learn them quickly, and share the lessons so we can learn them through you.

mbduke said...

You have a great support system that will help you through this. We never know when life is going to throw us a curve, and if it weren't for family and friends, each day would be even harder to get through. Please try to keep us updated as much as you are able. And next year, I'll send you twice as many Girl Scout Cookies, I don't care how much the postage is. :-)

tprice said...

I just saw the news on Facebook. I am sorry to hear this but know that I am praying for you. Hang in there and take care of yourself. I am glad your family is coming to help. love

Gilbert said...

Wow Carol -- Stay upbeat; when you feel a lil' down, know that we all love you & we are all waiting to see your perky self again!

Amanda said...

What a tough time you are facing Carol, and you sound as if you are feeling very positive at the moment. We've never met, but a very dear friend of mine is recovering from the same ailment, so I know what you and your family must be going through right now, and my thoughts are with you and with them. Keep your chin up!

Anonymous said...

I have sent you an e-mail but wanted to all my love and positive thoughts here as well. I learned how to quilt when undergoing chemo in 1993 so I support keeping your hands busy and your mind a peace; it worked wonders for me.

Glad to hear that your mum and dad are coming back so that will also ease your worries with regards to taking care of things at home. You are so loved and have shown so much goodness it is time for you to take some of it back - drink it all in.

You are in my prayers.

lizardek said...

Carol, whatever we can do to help out, we will. You are surrounded by loving friends and family. :) I'm completely confident that you will beat this!!

Patchwork Penguin said...


Thoughts and prayers are coming to you and your family. I wish I could do something more than just leave this comment..... but please know I am thinking about you.


chrisi said...

oh now, i know waths you feel,i have cancer survive,i am verry sad und wish you all the best and remember you sorry for this its my english to simple love chris

Marie said...

Carol, there are no words to say other than I am so sorry for what you are dealing with and what you and your precious family will have to go through. Your extended family in blogland are with you through this and will be in your heart all the way. I will be sending a personal letter to you later. so glad your parents are on there way over. Love and hugs, Marie

G'G'ma said...

Oh, Carol, I am so sorry to hear of your health issues. I'm sure once your doctors have completed all the tests they will come up with a good cancer treatment.

It was good to hear that your folks are going to Sweden next week. I know they will be a huge help to you and your family.

I will be praying for you....dear new blogging friend.

Helena said...

Hej Carol!
Jag tänkte att det skulle vara lättare att hitta ord om jag skrev på svenska, men det var det inte.....tänker på dej nästan hela tiden.... Ta hand om dig, du vinner denna fighten! Så skönt att dina föräldrar kan komma hit.
Många kramar,

Helene M Mikell said...

Carol...I've emailed (I see you received it, my cancer survivor friends are on your list!) but like the others, want to leave my prayers and hopes for you on this public forum as well. People all over Jacksonville are praying for you. Feel the strength and power in prayer...
love, Helene