Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Waiting for tomorrow

Just hanging out waiting for tomorrow's anal & rectal review! Sounds like a bad comedy show! We hope to get answers about what's happening there inside my stomach, too, with those inflamed lymphnodes.

To tell you the truth, the pains in my ass aren't the center of attention anymore, maybe because I don't sit in the car so often now. (when it hurts the most!) My entire abdomen is where it is most painful now. It varies during the day and night where the pains are most severe. I can explain it to you like this, most of the time it feels similar to those cramps or "stitches" you get on your side when you've been running or jogging. Only I haven't been running or jogging and the feeling never really goes away even with a full dosage of pain killers that I've been prescribed now. (I'm trying not to over use these). And it's not just in my sides--it's a bit here, a bit there and oh, sometimes over ttthhhhheeerrrreee. (I"ve had these pains off and on over the past months but I thought they were from indigestion...I especially had them at night when I was quiet and calm, probably feeling my body more without the distractions!) I can manipulate the pain by the way I sit for small periods of time...like holding my body in a certain position with the help of pillows. Lovely Liver must be swollen because for several weeks I haven't been able to take a deep breath without the ribs digging into her, this makes deep laughing painful, yawns painful and coughs painful. (I think many of you may have felt something similar when you were at the end of your pregnancy.) These swollen organs also make it difficult to bend over. I feel like one of those fat bellied Buddahs! ...I'm squatting much more to reach lower heights. Oh great...now my thigh muscles will get stronger and bigger! LOL

Getting up out of bed and standing up from a sitting position is often VERY painful because it is as though my liver and all her organ friends stay in the bed (or chair) and I'm pulling away from them on tight rubber bands that are about to snap off! It is HORRIBLE! I want to grab my abdomen and hold everybody in but to touch my stomach hurts even more and I usually end up giving in and going back to the orginal position for a moment and re-adjusting before trying again at a slightly different angle. Rolling out of bed is IMPOSSIBLE! OUCH! Getting off a chair in my "minimal pain" style probably makes me look like a sumo wrestler ready for an opponent! Who said cancer would be elegant!?


Mornings I'm feeling pretty good after the painful break from the bed...today I concentrated on eating a snack between meals to help with the low blood sugar MONSTER who had been appearing each afternoon. And the kitchen crew had dinner on the table by 6pm (18:00) which was much better for ALL of us!

We watched Best of Show last night...lots of ridiculous laughs! (Thanks Tom!)
Soaking the wheat grass seeds to plant tomorrow.
Using the juicer with all kinds of veggies everyday now.

Tomorrow Mormor and Granpa will be in charge of Maya's swimming school stuff and they will go swimming with her at the indoor pool afterward her class! FUN...

I'm taking things with me to the hospital just in case I have to stay over night...don't want to be stuck again wearing those button-popping pj's and hospital underwears! Better to be prepared....

More later...will let you all know the results as soon as we know!

6 comments:

jessica_sundell@hotmail.com said...

Underbara Carol!

Sänder alla positiva tankar och all min kraft till dig varje dag! Din inställning, ditt positiva tänkande, din glädje till livet och all din kärlek till din familj och vänner är sååå fantastiskt! Du är en stark och vacker människa!

Allting kommer att bli bra, fortsätt att vara närvarande och se livets vackra i det enkla...

Varm kram
Jessica på slottshöjden

chrisi said...

toy toy toy for Tomorrow, i think too you, ich drücke dir die Daumen, (press my thumb) love Chris

neitha said...

Thinking of you tomorrow. What is that saying, something about the anticipation is always worse.....so it shouldn't be that bad ;)

lizardek said...

I am thinking of you constantly and sending you all kinds of positive energy and healing strength. Kick that cancer to the ground! Will be holding you in my thoughts tomorrow! XO

Mia said...

Hej Carol!

Följer dig på bloggen varje dag och blir så imponerad av din känsla för humor och den styrka du visar mitt i allt det svåra. Du är en sann inspiratör!

Ville bara lämna ett litet avtryck och påminna dig om att vi alla på skolan tänker på dig och hoppas att du snart ska bli bättre.

Kramar, Mia

Lori S-C said...

Good energy is being sent your way!
Love and positive thoughts...

Lori